As some of you may know by now I've been diagnosed with a stage two variant of Hodgkin's Lymphoma. According to my doctor it's the "garden variety" cancer which in terms of cancer is the best one to have. This particular beast lives in my chest and it's kinda big. I woke up one day about four months ago and it felt like I was being choked...and then it never went away. Two trips to emergency and some very caring and empathetic health professionals later and I had officially been diagnosed with my own personal cancer (we're still taking name suggestions BTW)!
So I decided to blog this experience because honestly, telling the same story over and over is exhausting and apparently some people care that I have cancer. It's not for pity or attention. I already know I'll make it through this fine but I do understand that people want info and need reassurances so this is for you! I can't stress this enough. It's mentally draining to relive a fairly unpleasant experience over and over and I'd just rather avoid that. I'd prefer to use my energy to focus on getting better. That, combined with the fact that I can breathe at less than 50% of my normal capacity, means that extended periods of talking can be physically draining. I never thought that I'd be breathless after toweling off from a shower but here I am. It's a strange state to be in, forcefully silenced by your own bodily limitations. All this in mind, once this is over I can't wait to have, like, 10 beers and tell you the epic/heroic version of the story.
One of the most difficult parts is that everyone has a different reaction to cancer. In my case, yes it sucks but it's not life threatening and I believe the medical system will do what it's supposed to and help me get rid of what ails me. I guess I'd rather just stay positive instead of commiserating over the fact that I have cancer. It really seems to bother other folks more than it does me but don't sweat it, there's no pain and it's really just a long running annoyance at this point. What kind of annoyance you might wonder? Well, besides the endless choking sensation (no joke, it's been 24/7 for four months) I have also been blessed with routine night sweats and skin that essentially feels like it's constantly being poked with burning hot needles. Uncontrollable and never ending itchiness has now become synonymous with this cancer. Apparently, the sweating and itching will go away once chemo starts...I have never been so excited to have my body pumped full of vile chemicals. The itching is actually the WORST part of this cancer (which, comparatively, makes it sound like this cancer is a total joke as far as cancers go...which it is) as it not only makes me totally mental but it also drives other people crazy. It's a small miracle the Gillian hasn't done the cancer's job for it at this point.
Speaking of Gillian, I can't stress enough how strong, supportive, and very awesome she's been through all of this. Not all of you will know that we were supposed to get married and have an epic Korea/Japan honeymoon this summer and that we were forced to cancel everything because of the cancer. It's not awesome and has definitely been the worst part about being sick. I guess we'll just have to have an even better wedding and significantly longer honeymoon (thank you UVic PEA union and your generous holidays and holiday carry-over!!) in the future.
OK, enough of that for now. Today is the first round of chemo and despite the horror stories I've heard about it, I'm VERY excited to get started. I'll update the blog once in a while so if anyone has questions or anything (please, no pity) feel free to comment!
Power through bud, you got this!
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